EDGBASTON – HOME OF TENNIS

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EDGBASTON – THE HOME OF TENNIS

 

Edgbaston is the place

Where they serve up many an Ace

 

Invented by Major Harry Gem:

A game for lithe athletic men

 

At 8 Ampton Road: ‘Fairlight’

You’d see rubber balls in flight

 

Men and women both

They’d hit balls with all their might

 

In clothing… Oh so bright!

A game played in Lilywhites

 

As played on a manicured lawn

In the summer of 1859

 

Young men and women courting

Eating, drinking, laughing

 

Eligible bachelors and young maidens

Playing on a mown green grass court

 

‘Good shot sir!’… they’d shout

With many a lascivious thought

 

The young women they did ‘Glow’

As they knocked balls to and fro

 

Over a rudimentary net

With strawberries and cream…..you bet!

 

Lawn tennis started to grow

Into the game that we now all know

 

Fred Perry, Bunny Austin,

Ann Jones, Virginia Wade

 

Andy Murray and Sue Barker

Grand Slam Champions were made

 

So next time you’re in Birmingham

Recall Edgbaston’s Major Gem

 

And the Great Game that he gave us:

‘Game, Set and Match: Amen!’

 

 

Keith Bracey Birmingham Tennis Fan

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SOUTHSIDE JOHNNIES & CHINATOWN JINKS

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Southside Johnnies and Chinatown Jinks

 

Down ‘Olloway ‘Ed

 

To Wing Yip’s Pagoda

 

Leading the Way

 

To Chinatown’s lovely odour

 

A tasty meal cooked in a Wok

 

At Chung Ying Garden

 

We’re ‘Ready to Rock’!

 

Ming Moon Buffet

 

All you can eat

 

As you stroll down the Sidewalk

 

To Brummagem’s Beat!

 

The Fox, The Hip

 

The Back to Backs

 

All open their Doors to

 

Johnnies in Slacks

 

Southside’s Silver Rhino

 

Surveys…… all she can see

 

From the slate grey roofs above

 

The many Theatre-goers with Glee!

 

David Bintley’s Royal Ballet

 

Formerly Sadler’s Wells

 

Puts on ‘The Nutcracker’

 

For many well-heeled ‘Swells’

 

Every Christmas……..

 

David’s ‘Glittering Show’

 

Adorns Chinatown

 

With lots of fake Snow!

 

The young Bucks from Elmhurst School for Dance

 

Apprentice lithe ‘Dancers’ preen and prance……..

 

The Hip’s huge Stage

 

The Largest in the Land

 

Welcomes the UK’s biggest Pantomime

 

And Plays, Musicals and Bands

 

That Adorn Chinatown

 

On ‘Golden Pond’

 

Stir-Fried Noodles

 

And Chicken Feet

 

Fed to me by Miss Chan

 

What a Fantastic Feat!

 

To attract the Chinese

 

To assemble MG’s

 

At Longbridge

 

Premier Wen Jiao Bao

 

He came to Brum

 

In Twenty Eleven to visit the Chinamen

 

After MG Rover went ‘Belly-up’

 

In Twenty Oh Six…….

 

Mike Whitby and Dutton

 

This ‘Marvellous Man’

 

‘Mister #Birmingham Development’

 

SUCH a sad loss…….

 

As Clive Dutton reported to Mike Whitby: ‘The Boss’

 

They Launched Brum’s ‘Big City Plan’…..

 

In Shanghai…..near ‘The Bund’

 

Hoping to attract Chinese Yuan

 

To invest in England

 

To build MG’s in our land……once again!

 

To save the jobs of many a Brummie man

 

In October Twenty Fifteen……

 

Another Chinese Premier came……

 

Li Xing Ping was his name…….

 

This Time Georgie Osborne took ‘im oooooop North……

 

No visit to Longbridge……

 

This Time for ‘The Man’……

 

For Brum…..that wasn’t quite in ‘The Big City Plan’……..

 

I recall in Twenty Ten on Adrian Goldberg’s Radio WM Show…….

 

Talking with Paul Kehoe of BHX ‘Fame’ about……..

 

Birmingham’s ‘Twin City’ of Guangzhou……..

 

About ‘Marketing Birmingham’ to the Chinese……

 

Using ‘Dear Old Bill Shakespeare’ whom the Chinese love……

 

As they fly high into Brummagem

 

High ‘Up Above’…….

 

Using ‘Whitby’s new runway’…….

 

To come to the region……

 

The Chinese Love William Shakespeare…….

 

His Chinese fans are sooooo ‘Legion’……..

 

This @BrummieBard……..

 

“The Greatest West Midlander”………

 

Has the ‘Power to Attract’…….

 

More Investment to ‘Brummagem’!

 

Paul Kehoe poo-pooed mine and Ducker’s idea……

 

But in Twenty Fourteen

 

It became CLEAR…….

 

A ‘No-Brainer’ for ‘BILL’ to Market Birmingham to the Chinese…….

 

More Money for Brum!!!!!!

 

DONE IT!…….With Ease…….

 

NI HAO from this Brummie…….

 

XIE…..XIE…..on our Lips

 

Welcomes Chinese to our supermarkets……..Wonderful WING YIPS!

 

This ‘Man of Fujian’

 

Came to Brum in The Fifties……

 

Made it His Home……..

 

Brum’s Chinese sooooo ‘Thrifty’……..

 

So it is ‘ZAIJIAN’ from me……..The New @BrummieBard…..

 

HEY……!!!!!!!…. Paul Kehoe…..IT wasn’t SOOOO hard…….

 

To Market ‘Dear Birmingham’……..

 

To The Chinese………

 

Using ‘Bill Shakespeare’……..

 

WHAT A MAN from these Shires…..!!!!!!!

 

The World’s GREATEST Playwright……..

 

A “MAN FOR ALL SEASONS”………

 

OUR “BIGGEST ATTRACTION”……

 

FOR SOOOOO MANY REASONS…..

 

As “Bill’s” Plays are about…….

 

Our Common Humanity……..

 

MACBETH’s ‘Vain Death’…….

 

And LEAR’s ‘Huge Vanity’……..

 

THE PLAYERS Do ‘Strut the World’s Stage’…….

 

In Stratford Town……….

 

Just Twenty – Five Miles……..

 

From Brum’s CHINATOWN……….!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Keith Bracey @BrummieBard #Shakespearean Sinophile

Birmingham Bands

Brummagem’s Bands

 

Birmingham has produced the Biggest Bands

 

With Fabulous Songs and Adoring Fans

 

Famous in Europe and the USA

 

Outstanding Music here to stay

 

Rock from Black Sabbath and Judas Priest

 

Was Heavy and Loud, to say the least

 

The Move had ‘Flowers in the Rain’

 

First Record on Radio One, they claim

 

Dexy’s sang: ‘Come on Eileen’

 

The Dance Floor Anthem for Love’s Young Dream

 

UB40 had a Kitchen with a Rat

 

While Sabbath’s Ozzy bit the Head off a Bat

 

The Dutchie was passed by Musical Youth

 

Duran Duran: ‘Hungry Like the Wolf’

 

Led Zeppelin climbed a ‘Stairway to Heaven’

 

The World’s Greatest Band in ‘77

 

Electric Lights inspired Jeff Lynne

 

Moody Blues Knights in White Satin

 

Would Christmas be the same without Wizzard and Slade?

 

Performing the Music Midlands’ Bands Made!

 

Keith Bracey  #BrummieBard Led Zep and Black Sabbath Fan

 

 

 

BIRMINGHAM:THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE

 

BIRMINGHAM: THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE

 

Back in Nineteen Seventy Six

 

When the Hot Sun baked the broiling Bricks

 

And Denis Howell MP for Small Heath

 

Was ‘Minister for Drought’ in the searing heat

 

He urged us all to bathe together

 

And not run round ‘Hell for Leather’

 

I went from Birmingham Grammar School Boy

 

To the University in Edgbaston with Unbridled Joy

 

This Bright but Callow Bearwood Lad

 

Became a Birmingham Undergrad

 

Studying B.Com in the Muirhead Tower

 

Where The Paternoster Lifts ran Hour after Hour

 

Perpetual Motion taking ‘Tortured Souls’

 

To jump off this Brutalist Muirhead Coil

 

When Exams in Accounts became too much to Toil

 

Doctor Peter Cain my ancient Tutor

 

Urged this Fresh man to use the first Punch-Card Computer

 

This Student donned a Great Coat and Scarf

 

And would do anything for a ‘Belly Laugh’

 

Like Read the Communist Manifesto

 

At Peter Cain’s educated behest….Oh!

 

Marx and Engels to the Fore

 

As all us Students fought ‘The Class War’!

 

David Lodge’s ‘Nice Work’ if you can gerrit…..?

 

Made University Life seem so decrepit

 

To study Accounts was my Forte

 

Or so I often thought…..Eh….?

 

But when The Doubts began to creep in

 

And my ‘Number Blindness’ started to seep in

 

To my youthful callow consciousness

 

With such dire unfortunate consequences

 

My exam time worry started to show

 

And I was struck such a Mortal Blow

 

When I failed my Exams in Stats and Maths

 

But Tutor Cain set me on a Different Path

 

To study Law and forget the Math

 

Peter told me I still had a Bright Future

 

No longer for me the Statistical Torture!

 

For this Rugby-Playing Muddied Oaf

 

On the Bournbrook pitches…. I used my Loaf

 

And played for the University First Fifteen

 

As an Eighteen Year Old Flyaway Flanker

 

I made my debut for my Alma Mater

 

Where my Rugby defined me as a Young Man

 

Without any sort of discernible plan

 

The First Fifteen I played in October ‘76

 

Before I even made my debut for The Old Dix!!!!!

 

Julia Honeychurch was my squeeze

 

Back in Strathcona we ‘Shot the Breeze’!

 

Mick’s Café’s Race and Carnival

 

Was what defined me as a pal

 

A ‘Belly-Buster Breakfast’ and a pint of Guinness

 

The aim not to throw up at the Breathless Finish

 

A Two Mile Run from the Student’s Union

 

Down to Heeley Road and a date with Oblivion

 

Where Bacon and Egg were downed with Glee

 

Before running back to ‘The Mermaid in The See’

 

That’s when it all went ‘Pete Tong’ for me

 

As I threw up and my Salad Days

 

Became Carrots and Peas

 

And I was in an Alcoholic Daze

 

While on my knees

 

All good fun to raise ‘Cash for Carnival’

 

I was no longer a ‘Freshman Virgin’ in High Hall….!!!!!

 

 

Keith Bracey Bearwood Bloke and Unfortunate Birmingham University Undergraduate 1976

 

9th December 2015

Bearwood Town – A Black Country Poem about my home town

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Apologies to Whistling Roger Whitaker and his 1970’s Christmas hit: Durham Town

 

BEARWOOD TOWN

 

I aye gunner leave ‘ole Bearwood Town…..

 

I aye gunner leave ‘ole Bearwood Town…..

 

I aye  gunner leave ‘ole Bearwood Town…..

 

COZ  it aye tha sorta place ter gemme darn…..

 

 

Councillors Piper, Eling n Jaron

 

Do soo much fer are Bearwood Mon

 

Loike Billy Spake

 

Does fer thee ‘ole Black Countray

 

 

Smerrick is Richard Marshall’s patch…..

 

This local Councillor does Sooo Mutch…..

 

Fer Bearwood n Smerrick…..

 

Smethwick in a Stew n Lightwoods Park……and House…..

 

 

Juss two of ‘is projects……Ooh worra lark……!!!

 

I, and others from ‘is Bearwood Crew…..

 

Did Volunteer…..

 

Fer Smethwick in a Stew…..

 

 

As a fantastic reward fer uz all…..

 

Who Volunteer fer are Bearwood…..

 

‘N’……What’s more…..We did Volunteer…..

 

Fer tha Beer on tha Black Countray Buzz…..

 

 

Juss a few yers agoo the Sandon Road “SIX”

 

Did trundle too n fro…..

 

With thee ‘Aglee Rowd crowd

 

 

From the 6 Terminus on Sandon Rowd…..Tha Buzz

 

Past Saint Chad’s….where I was was barn

 

Way back in ’58…..

 

Lookin’ All ferlarn…..

 

 

As “A Babe in Arms”…..

 

I  wuz taerken,’Ome…..

 

Ter live in a Flat…..

 

Above 67…..Three Shires Oak Road…..

 

 

The CHOP SUEY BAR…..

 

Chinese Food…..MADE IN ‘EAVEN…..!!!!

 

ME Mom n Dad Dot n Lez…..

 

Did scraerpe tergether enough CASH

 

 

Ter raise a Deposit fer BRUM MUNICIPAL BANK

 

At the top of Willow Ave…..

 

It wuz their prank…..

.

Ter buoy an ‘Owse…..

 

 

In Willow Ave…..

 

The first thee ‘ad with an indoor LAV…..

 

ME BRACEY FAMILY…..

 

Did scrimp n save…..

 

 

Me Mom n Dad did werk sooo ‘Ard…..

 

Me Mom Dot at the Midland Red…..

 

In Rutland Road doin’ overtime on a’ addin’ machine…..

 

Werkin’ till she fell in ter ‘er bed…..

 

Ter buoy this ‘Owse…..

 

THEY WERE SOOO BRAVE THA BRACEYS…..!!!!!

 

ME MOM N DAD THA BRACEYS DOT N LEZ….!!!!!

 

KEITH BRACEY

#BearwoodBard

Bearwoodian Keith Bracey

Twitter:@1truclaretnblu

And : @BrummieBard

Email:keithbracey1@gmail.com